i remember wang han saying this: “parents’ hands are used to hug their children, not to beat them.”
however, many parents in life can’t help but be angry with their children, and even do something to their children, often falling into the dead cycle of “provoking you to be angry – angry at him – regretting it”.
here to remind parents, children in the following 3 stages must not scold.
don’t hit these three age groups, and don’t do it again!
01
children under the age of 3 cannot be beaten
before the age of 3 is the most important period for children’s psychological growth.
it is normal for children before the age of 3 to lack a sense of rules due to immature mental development.
at this stage, the child’s activities are mainly to meet physical needs, mainly a series of conditioned reflexes brought about by eating, drinking, pulling, sprinkling, and sleeping, which are unconscious.
moreover, children in this age group are oscillating between autonomy and shyness and doubt. if the child is scolded at this time, not only does it have no warning effect, but also makes the child feel confused about his own behavior, and then feel ashamed. in the long run, it will develop a timid personality and shadow the psychological development of children.
most importantly, how can a child under the age of 3 withstand the “slap” of an adult? delicate skin, even if the hand is very light, it is easy to cause injury, especially the child’s head, a slight collision, it is likely to occur concussion, shadow to the development of the brain.
? what should parents do?
what exactly can be done to control children without hurting their sense of self-control and autonomy?
first of all, it can be handled coldly, when the child is unreasonable, the parent can ignore him, and slowly, he will form a consciousness: this method of crying is useless.
parents should never respond positively to their children’s unreasonable teasing, which will allow them to establish a connection between their own crying and adults meeting their demands. don’t think that your child is too young to understand anything. this stage is the stage of their enlightenment to explore themselves and the outside world.
parents can also use an angry expression to tell their children that this behavior is wrong. as mentioned above, don’t think that children don’t know anything, children at this stage have learned to look at the faces of adults and act. you write anger and anger on your face, and the child will stop when he sees it.
02
children after the age of 6 cannot be beaten
after the age of 6, the child’s sense of independence has been better developed, self-esteem has become stronger and stronger, and he begins to desire his efforts and abilities to be recognized and appreciated by parents and others.
