i’m often asked, how come your daughter’s mouth is so clever? some people also say that when my children are so old, they will only jump out word by word, but your daughter will talk like a little adult.
my daughter is less than 2 and a half years old, and she can take a picture book and speak on her own; she can also fluently recite dozens of nursery rhymes, the longest of which is about 200 words; the “three character sutra” can be recited from the section “the beginning of man, the nature of goodness” to “gong gango, shang lobbying”.
i deliberately summarized some of the tips i have explored in practice to improve my language skills, hoping to provide some reference and help for parents and friends.
1. take your child’s every question seriously
how to deal with your child’s questions, so that you can be serious? my principle of action is: everything that is asked must be answered, and the answer must have a beginning and an end, a cause and an effect. in addition to satisfying children’s curiosity and curiosity, this is also an excellent opportunity for children to expand their vocabulary and train their thinking.
for example, recently the epidemic has been tightly controlled, and we no longer take our children to public places on weekends. once my daughter asked me, “mom, can we go to the aquarium on weekends?”
i said, “baby, you can’t go.” you want to go to the aquarium, and mom wants to go too. however, recently there is a virus outside, and places with many people are easy to be infected, and infectious viruses will make us sick. we have to wait until the outside situation is better before we can go to a crowded place.” the daughter listened and nodded her head in understanding.
yesterday, the husband took his daughter downstairs for a walk and met a neighbor who took the child out to play. my daughter said, “auntie, there are many people in the park, and it is easy to spread the virus, so you have to wait until the virus is gone before you can play.”
the more vocabulary a child is exposed to, the more likely her language skills are to be developed and her own expression skills will be stronger.
2. encourage your child to think and express their opinions
when communicating with children, it is mainly to ask questions with inspiration, supplemented by opinion requirements, which is an effective way to encourage children to express themselves positively. throwing up a question and leaving the opportunity to “say” to the child, while at the same time, listening well and responding when appropriate, will make the child happy to share his or her point of view.
for example, when my daughter falls, i wait for her to calm down and ask, what just happened? the child would say, i fell. i would then ask, why did i fall? the child will answer: it is going too fast. i will ask again, so what do you do next time so that you don’t fall? the child said, just walk slower.
constantly asking questions, in addition to guiding the child to express positively, there is also an excellent point, that is, to guide the child to give her own solution to the problem, effectively avoid her from having the same problem many times.
the more parents attach importance to their children’s feelings and opinions, the more children like to express their thoughts and opinions to their parents.
3. talk to your child like you write an article
what does it mean to speak like an article? it is a description of the attention to detail and process when communicating with your child.
for example, take the child downstairs for a walk, you can say: today’s weather is really good, the sun is shining, the mother is very happy to go downstairs with you to play; let’s see what trees in the community are good? wow, there’s a little bird singing in the tree! what game are you going to play at the playground today? let’s go and see if the children in the playground are more boys or girls, and so on.
another example is to give your child a serious introduction to everything he is exposed to for the first time. baby, this is an apple, its color is red, it bites hard, and its taste is sweet and sour. apples knot on trees, ripen in autumn, etc.
only a parent who is willing to talk can raise a child who is willing to “talk”.
4. guide your child to express emotions and needs
when the child has emotions, parents should guide him to say what he feels in his heart. when a child has abnormal behavior, parents should help him recognize the real needs behind his behavior.
for example, you promise your child to come back from a trip and bring gifts, but you forget. it is obvious that the child is very lost, but the child is silent and does not actively express his feelings and emotions. at this time, it is necessary to do emotional counseling for the child.
“baby, your mother didn’t bring you a gift to make you sad, are you a little disappointed, i don’t know if you want to believe your mother’s words in the future.” 」 the child’s answer must be yes. after several emotional expressions, you will find that your child will not only take the initiative to express emotions and feelings to you, but also make some comments or requests to you.
for example, when a child throws something on the ground, you hold him and ask, “baby, you want to play with your mother, because your mother doesn’t pay attention to you, so you want to attract your mother’s attention by throwing things, right?” or “mom doesn’t agree with you playing with that toy you’re angry isn’t it”?
after this communication is done a few times, your child will learn to use language to express needs rather than using destructive behaviors to grab your attention.
many times, parents take on the role of coach to guide their children to their inner potential.
5. give your child the opportunity to “tell a story”
adults like to be listened to and followed; often the more they are listened to, the more they will be open to sharing. children, too, express themselves because their parents are willing to listen.
for example, when my daughter comes back from a family trip, i will definitely ask her what happened when she went out. in the beginning, she would simply say i played on the swing and slide. slowly, she would say, where did i start today, where i got, who i met, and who i played with.
now, the first thing she says every time she comes back from a trip is, “mom, i’m back, and i’m going to give you a report.” the child’s memory is originally good, and when she is proficient in this “retrospective” expression, she can almost tell all the things she experienced out of the house, and the error is very small.
sometimes, it’s not that the child won’t do it, it’s that you don’t give her the opportunity to practice and grow.
6. communicate with your child with a variety of phrases
the child’s imitation ability is extremely strong, and the words heard at this moment will be unconsciously read out the next moment. if you want your child to use language flexibly, you must use a variety of language methods to communicate with your child.
let’s take a simple example. “when the child wakes up in the morning, you can talk about baby, good morning, did you sleep well yesterday; you can also say good morning, baby, today’s weather is really good, mom hopes that your mood today is as good as the weather; you can also say, baby good morning, a good day is about to start.” 」 what are you going to do today?
as long as it is suitable for the current scene, words and sentences that can actively interact with the child can be used to communicate with the child.
you know, the first dictionary of a child’s life must be compiled by the parents.
7. use nursery rhymes to grind your ears
the characteristics of nursery rhymes are obvious: concise and clear, strong sense of rhythm, strong sense of rhythm, easy to recite and remember. using the characteristics of language itself to guide children, the effect will be doubled with half the effort.
i was not very interested in the ballad at first, but my daughter always wanted someone to hold him and sleep, and it seemed awkward to hold him dryly, so i read to her those old songs, such as “count ducks”, “little white rabbit”, etc., and she quickly learned to read them, and she was happy to repeat them tirelessly.
finally, i would like to say that there are individual differences in the stage of children’s growth, and we do not need to feel anxious because of the delay of a child’s growth moment. do your best, and all that’s left is to wait for the flowers to bloom.
